Memories of a Rose
by thedoctorandroseee
Summary: The Doctor's hearts are breaking and the only thing that can fix him is Rose Tyler.
1. Chapter 1: Memories of a Rose

Chapter One: Memories of a Rose

The Doctor sat on the console floor, legs splayed out in front of him, and his hands covering his face.  
>He exhaled loudly, his body shaking as he did so.<p>

It had been exactly a year today that he had lost Rose, and there had not been a day since that he hadn't thought of her. Her beautiful face haunted him night and day, and he hated to admit it, but it was killing him how much he missed her cheeky smile and cheerful spirit.  
>The worst part is that he never got to tell her, how much her presence affected him and how when they hugged, it felt like his hearts were soaring. He never got to tell her that her smile was the thing that kept him going every day, and how she had fixed him, when he thought he was broken beyond repair.<p>

Kicking the console hard, he shouted in pain and anger and regret that things had turned out this way.  
>Sighing again he stood up, wobbling slightly, muttering an apology to the TARDIS as he did so.<br>He couldn't go on like this, he had to find her, breathe in her oh so beautiful scent of pure Rose and most importantly tell her how he really felt.  
>It wasn't like he hadn't tried to find a way back to her, he'd wasted weeks at a time looking through TARDIS manuals, searching for anything that could help but it was all in vain.<p>

The Doctor didn't know when he had fallen for her, maybe it was when he grabbed her hand for the first time and told her to run.  
>All he knew was that he was so hopelessly in love and it was causing him so much pain to keep it all bottled up inside.<br>Laughing bitterly at himself, he made his way down the corridor, hesitating slightly he walked into her room and his gaze fell on the pictures that lay untouched on her desk, there was one of them at Christmas, wearing pink and red paper crowns, pulling daft faces at the camera. The happiness evident in both of their faces.

It was too much for him to bear and he fell against the foot of the bed, tears cascading down his cheeks, his breathing ragged and fast. The ever growing loneliness gnawing at the pit of his stomach.

He had never thought, how could he, that this pink and yellow being could mean the universe to him, and he cursed himself for getting so attached to her and being so foolish. Maybe a part of him just wanted to believe her when she said she'd stay with him forever.

Composing himself, he stood up straight, his expression turning from pain to determination. He was The Doctor, the Oncoming Storm, last of the Time Lords, whole planets shook at the mention of his name, he had saved the Earth from death and destruction more times than he could remember. He wasn't going to stand for this. Gritting his teeth, and brushing stray tears from his cheek, he stormed out of her room, a look in his dark eyes that said 'do not mess'.  
>He'd find his Rose, and nothing in the universe could stop him.<p> 


	2. Chapter Two: Memories of The Doctor

Chapter Two: Memories of The Doctor

Rose's eyes fluttered open slowly, light blinding her. She turned over with a slight groan, throwing a pillow at her alarm clock, knocking it off her bedside table in the process. Every day had become an unwanted chore since she had lost him, the only reason she was still willing to live was the small hope that one day he would come back for her, and they would be together again. The Doctor and Rose in the TARDIS as it should be.

To put it bluntly, she was a mess. Her mind always seemed to wonder if he was feeling the same pain as her. There was always that small niggling fear that he had already forgotten her, and whisked someone else away in the TARDIS with him. Or, even worse, that he was on his own, facing the dangers of the universe alone, without a hand to hold.  
>Choking back the tears and pushing the quilt off her, she stood up, a loud yawn escaping her lips as she stretched her arms above her head.<p>

Every day, small things seemed to remind her of him, even if they were stupid and insignificant, The Doctor was the first thought in her mind when she woke up and the last before she fell asleep.  
>Even in her dreams she wasn't free of the pain, she'd be walking down the street hand in hand with him, then she'd begin falling, falling further and further away from the one person who she couldn't be without.<p>

And yet there she was, Rose Tyler, trapped in a parallel world, without her Doctor.  
>Jackie had told her that she couldn't pine after him forever, that she had to build a life for herself in Norway. But Rose had ignored her, how could she just abandon The Doctor? After all he had done for her and all the things they had been through. No. It was out of the question.<p>

He would save her from this oh so miserable existence, much like he had done many years before, and everything would fall back into place.  
>Someday.<p>

But she was willing to wait forever if it meant she could see her Doctor again.  
>She worked at Torchwood now, it was an okay job she supposed. But it didn't bring her any closer to finding her Doctor. Everyone there seemed to tiptoe around her, like she was fragile and liable to break at any second. Perhaps that was true, maybe she was.<p>

Rose felt so useless, not being able to do anything about her situation. Bitterly she scoffed at how much time she spent wallowing in her own self pity, and wondered where the strong independent Rose had gone.

Of course she had left when The Doctor did.

A year ago today it had been the worst day of her life, and as she threw on a plain black top and denim jeans, she caught sight of herself in the mirror, noting how she had changed in that year, her eyes had grown darker, her hair less tamed and her youthful glow had all but vanished.

What she wouldn't give to feel alive again.


	3. Chapter 3: Thoughts of Rose

Rose.

That one word, that would seem so very insignificant to others. But to The Doctor, it was the most important word in the universe right now.  
>He had been in the console room, for over five hours straight. Altering settings on the main control panel even he didn't know existed.<br>His sonic screwdriver was tucked behind his ear, hair dishevelled and his glasses were askew.  
>'HA!' He shouted in triumph, then jumped back slightly as a spark emitted from the console, sucking his thumb to numb the pain he shook it off. A grin spreading across his face. Nothing really mattered anymore apart from getting to Rose.<br>The prospect of seeing her again after so long made him feel slightly giddy and his head spin. God he was acting like a love sick teenager.  
>Now all he had to do was wait, and hope that everything would, for once go his way.<br>Because up until now everything in the universe seemed to be against him.  
>He had been yearning for her, every single day, wanting nothing more than to feel her warmth and her arms around his neck.<br>A swirling sinking feeling was creeping up in his stomach, feelings of worry and doubt clouded his mind. What if she didn't want him back?  
>What if she'd moved on with her life and found someone else?<br>No. She couldn't.  
>Not his Rose.<br>She wouldn't do that to him... Would she?  
>'Oh the perks of having a superior Time Lord brain, overthinking everything to the point of self destruction.' He muttered to himself.<p>

Roughly three hours until he could see her again, and he was sure it would feel like an eternity.

Slumping down against the back of the seat in the control room he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, memories flooding back of the times he and Rose had shared together. The way they battled The Wire, when her face had been stolen, and he had thought all hope was lost. But somehow, the prospect of losing her had spurred him on, in a blind rage, defying anything that would cross his path.

But that was him, blundering through life, making it up as he went along, convincing people he knew what he was doing, and at the same time convincing himself too. And most of the time it seemed to work.


	4. Chapter 4: Fluffy Pink dressing gown

Chapter Four: Sleepless night

Moonlight was streaming into Rose's room through a gap in the window, a slight breeze blowing some hair from her face.

Hang on... Breeze?

Rose sat up sighing, one day she'd remember to shut the window before she went to sleep. Biting down on her lip and nibbling it slightly, she locked it shut flicking the clasp quietly. She knew the real reason why she kept it open. It was just in case The Doctor was standing outside, waiting for her and calling her name like some sort of modern fairy tale. She imagined him on the back of a large brown horse, heavy silver armour encasing his body. Then she let out a snort of laughter, yeah right he'd make the worst prince ever. Whoever he had come to rescue would already be a skeleton by the time he got round to saving them.  
>Glancing down at her alarm she groaned '4:33am.'<p>

Throwing on her pink fluffy dressing gown and slippers she made her way down the stairs.

Tea. She had decided. Tea was the solution to everything, she knew that well enough by now. Well, nearly everything...Not her reunion with The Doctor. This train of thought was getting her nowhere, carrying her steaming mug of tea she unlocked the back door that looked out onto a small garden. She'd often come out here, to gaze at the stars and think of her former life. Sometimes she wondered if he was out there doing the same thing, and thinking of her. Rose knew her and The Doctor had had a special relationship but she hadn't been able to quite decipher his views towards her, I mean she hoped she didn't make it too obvious how stupidly in love with the Oncoming Storm she was. Or maybe she did. Not that it mattered anymore now though.  
>The fact she had admitted it to him on Bad Wolf Bay and he had simply disappeared made her heart ache with despair more than it should.<p>

She had told him before of course, when he was dancing around the console, in his element. Explaining the physics behind how a star came into existence. She never listened, just watched. Looking at his messy chestnut colored hair and intense brown eyes that always came alive and sparkling when he talked about something that fascinated him. It was at these moments she'd mutter under her breath, "iloveyouandiwishicouldtellyou." He'd never hear her but a small part of her hoped one day he would.

Rose was so engrossed in these memories, it took her a while to register an oh so familiar sound. A quiet wheezing, groaning noise that brought hope and joy to those who heard it. She stood up suddenly, her stomach doing somersaults. Had she imagined it? She had done many times before, but this felt different... It felt real. If the TARDIS had materialized somewhere near her, she was going to find it. Nothing on this earth could stop her, even if she was just in her fluffy pink dressing gown.


	5. Chapter 5: Pink and yellow

Chapter Five: Pink and yellow

"If mum knew what I was doing she'd kill me." Rose muttered to herself under her breath, she had been wandering the same streets for nearly an hour now, in search of her Doctor.

Finally she collapsed in a miserable heap on the nearest bench. Looking up she could see a couple, walking hand in hand, swinging their arms and laughing. Cold bitter tears stung her cheeks, burying her head in her hands she sobbed convulsively, at the pain and terror she felt. She was so sick of feeling alone and numb inside.

"I think you need a Doctor." a very familiar voice whispered. Rose's eyes snapped open, urgent and soulful, then she gaped at the man stood in front of her.

Standing up, shaking all over, her vision blinded slightly by tears she walked cautiously over to him and without hesitating, without even thinking Rose grabbed him by the lapels and pressed her lips down hard on his, he responded almost immediately, wrapping his arms around her torso and pulling her to him. Kissing her back eagerly, all their months apart seemed to dissolve into the kiss. Rose was the first to pull away, looking into those hazel eyes that were now sparkling with joy and so very alive.

"I think you must be real," She croaked, smiling through her tears, "My imagination's not that good.' The Doctor beamed at her, hugging her closer, then he prodded her shoulder lightly, nodding at her dressing gown "Now this, this is cool I want one, reckon I'd suit pink." Winking at her, he wrinkled his nose. His expression suddenly turning serious he opened his mouth as if to say something but before he could say anything, Rose blurted out, "I love you Doctor." Blushing scarlet she buried her head in his shoulder and felt him chuckle softly, "Quite right too, Rose Tyler... I love you." The last part of the sentence was almost inaudible but he had said it, The Doctor had confessed his love towards the pink and yellow being wrapped tightly in his embrace, and he felt like a large weight had been lifted from his shoulders as he said it.

Letting go of her he looked up into the sky, his eyes shining as bright as the stars bellowing at the top of his lungs, "Rose Tyler I love you, you fantastic, brilliant, pink and yellow human, and don't you ever forget it."

Rose slapped a palm against her forehead and groaned, they had only been together five minutes and he'd already embarrassed himself. But actually, no. She didn't care, he had come back to her and at that moment, her whole world couldn't have been more perfect.

/I hope you enjoyed this little reunion fic, I really enjoyed writing it x


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